Script Review

Alrighty, here is my review of the script. These are pretty general because I haven't read the previous drafts and Wrion caught the same technical errors I did and more.

First and foremost, to clear up some geographical confusion, think about naming the cabins with directions (North, East, etc.) instead of numbers. I can imagine the individual scenes but reading about action that takes place across the campsite, I'm severely confused. I guess it doesn't matter if we plan on accomodating to whatever location we can find, but if we are to build any of it, we're going to need a good idea of the general layout.

General question: is the alien/blackblood thing evil? It seems to restrain from violence unless threatened and other than self-replication/spreading of its self, it doesn't seem to have a master plan. I also agree with Wrion's idea of more mind-fucking... I didn't see the previous drafts but the cliche lines were bothering me as well. If we aren't supposed to know the blackblood's motive... mind-fuck the characters as well as the audience.

As a horror movie fanatic: you blew the blackblood load too early. When Renee gets infected, it outlines the laws of the blackblood (blood jumping to the mouth, regeneration and healing, and the clouding eyes). What I think you should do is let Renee wander into the wonds and get lost, but scrap her entire "affliction" scene. She will recover afflicted, but the audience is in the dark. This way, when she seduces Will, it will be much more shocking to see her afflict him and in the subsequent scenes, when Will survives being impaled and vice versa, the scenes will be much more disturbing to a first time viewer who doesn't know the in's-and-out's of blackblood. The workings of this alien are unsettling, but to start off the movie with Renee's scene prepares us for what is to come... build some tension and keep us guessing.

Overall, I dig it. I think that while it has some obvious nods to previous films, it still retains originality with subtle differences and character interaction. I still can't tell whether or not the blackblood is a conscious virus with mind-control or an alien that gets off by spreading.

And just some ideas for alternate titles:
Camp Athogen (get it?), Hematerrestrial, Under the Weather, By Blood, Tag, Stricken, Dismal, Jenn's Story, Marathon, Nowhere, Hailey's (a comet's name) Curse, 50 Miles and Super AIDS: The Musical. Like I said... just ideas.